27 July 2008

how old do i feel today?

A couple of months ago my 12yo son asked if he could have a keycard. I took him to the bank and he set it up himself. I stood a few feet away with him turning around every now and then just to reassure himself that I was still there. Now every week i transfer his pocket money into this and he loves checking his balance when we're near an atm.

I'm very concious about him learning things like this himself. For 19 years I've worked in customer service and one of the things that frustrate me most is some mothers belief that its their right to know everything and do everything for the children, whether they are 18 or 40. So many mothers say 'but they're at work and can't get in' or 'he's my son', but a lot of these people would have been the first to complain if their privacy had been breached.

Nearly everyday for as long as I can remember I see young people unable to fill in basic forms. So often needing help to show them where to put simple things like their name and address. I think that it's often worse for boys because as a mum of a growing boy I know I still love to do everything for him, but I also know that for his sake and the sake of any women he has a relationship with in the future, I can't.

The first time he bought something with the card he was so excited he couldn't put his PIN in fast enough and he checked behind him first to make sure no one was watching. Today he asks if he can log onto netbank to get a balance. We go online to register him and he needs a phone banking password first so he calls the bank and again I just sit near him with him looking at me occaisionally for reassurance.

In his grown up voice he asks for a password and answers questions about his DOB and middle name and things like that. I feel like crying cause all I can here is the voice of my little boy, like it was yesterday, who's grown up way too fast. So he gets his phone bank password and comes back to the computer where he registers for his netbank, sees his balance and nods his head and says 'cool' and walks off, again I picture the baby that I once fed and nurtured and watched learn how to talk and walk, how unfair is it that time can go so fast?


Nic said...

I understand exactly how you feel. It is so true what you are saying. My mum hates it but at 9 and 5 I am trying to make my boys independent and self sufficent and building there confidence by getting them go into a shop and asking them to ask for what they want. Getting them to help around the house is good to. Hopefully there wives will thank me one day for not raising lazy slobs!!

Debbie said...

I know how you feel Ros. My daughter just got her own card and gets paid monthly for Football Umpiring. It is really weird seeing her buy things or check her balance with her new card. She seems so grown up now that she is earning her own money... it certainly goes way toooo fast.

Simonne said...

Got to say, I can't wait till my kids grow up a bit more and understand life a bit more, instead of being self-centred on themselves. Working on it anyway!
Have added you to my BLOG list as well, if thats OK.

Tammy James said...

Hi Ros .....
fi fi?
Must be you! So happy to have found this and have some form of contact with you and your beautiful work!
I miss you at that site where we used to chat! ( if this is the Ros I'm thinking it is! lol )
Hope you and your family are well chicadee!